love in the living room

Fluff and Tumble

It may come as no surprise that Make It or Break It has won my heart. It's a show about teens. It's a show about gymnastics. It's got new episodes in the summer. What's not to love?

Teen and sports drama clichés are so gleefully embraced that they become part of the attraction. There’s the likeable poor girl, Emily Kmetko (Chelsea Hobbs), who’s always cool to everyone and doesn’t know she’s pretty. There’s a spoiled blonde villainess (Lauren, played by Cassie Scerbo) who fixes competitions and says “daddy” a lot. And then there’s Sasha Beloff (played by Neil Jackson), an ex-coach who'd grown so disillusioned with the sport that he retreated to an actual cabin in the woods until the team inspired him to return to civilization.

I was sure my inner feminist would have at least a few things to cringe about, this being ABC Family after all, but they actually do a great job of focusing on the incredible dedication and physical endurance required for the sport, rather than glamorizing the more effeminate performance aspects. Even the leotards are just as dorky as anything you’d see in a real-life gym, right down to the matching scrunchies. (Girls being dorky is also awesome.) And while I'm almost always disturbed by the skinniness of teen actresses no matter how girl-powered their characters are, it seems okay here because gymnasts are thin. Plus, the show explicitly acknowledges that the main characters don't menstruate due to lack of body fat. So even if they meet an extreme physical standard, at least they experience weird shit as a result.

A surprisingly solid cast saves the mechanical elements of the script. Hobbs, Scerbo, Ayla Kell, and Josie Loren manage to make lines like “They sell leos off the rack now?” “I can’t believe Lauren ate mat on the beam,” and “Holy shizzle” come off as endearing. I'm also delighted to see Candace Cameron Bure in a recurring role as Summer, daddy's Christian girlfriend. (I’m sure she refused take the role unless she could talk about the Lord once per episode, and ABC Family was all, “Anything you want, Candace, we simply must have you for this minor part!”). I love the many teen boy love interests too, especially Nico Tortorella (also appearing on The Beautiful Life this Fall, which in my dreams is the next Model’s Inc.). He plays this dude named Razor who sings in a punk band and likes gymnastics. It's fun to see a twist on the usual bad boy thing. Plus his even badder band-mate, Damon, is after Emily, and Razor's about to go out of town. What will happen?!

I can't possibly claim that Make It or Break It is the best TV has to offer. I'm kind of desperate for quality programming right now and may be a little prone to settling . But even if it's just a summer fling, I'll have no regrets come fall (probably). If you're still not convinced of the strange wonders Make It or Break It has to offer, I give you tumble intimidation:

Holy shizzle!

Sex Education

TV culture is obsessed with the idea of adolescent fornication, but not really in a “sex is sexy!” kind of way. More like in a fearful, moralizing, “sex is dangerous!” kind of way. The Secret Life of the American Teen, for example, follows an ensemble of teenagers (the most prominent of whom is a pregnant 15-year-old) as they sleep with each other, suffer the negative consequences, and then exchange incredibly dull, explanatory dialog about what they've learned.

Even racier teen dramas tend to focus on the dire emotional consequences that inevitably follow virginity loss. It almost always ends in shame, regret, and/or a break-up. Viewers are getting an eyeful of cautionary tales telling them sex is bad...and the vast majority of them are teenage girls.

I get that teen dramas need drama, and there’s nothing like a pregnancy scare or virginity freak-out to move a plot. But real teen couples (like adult couples) are capable of sleeping together and remaining in love, un-pregnant, and disease-free. Do we see that on TV? Well, sometimes. Here’s a little report card grading how well teen dramas have handled teen sex on screen.

C

In retrospect, Beverly Hills, 90210’s scandalous rep belies a rather chaste TV culture. It was a really big deal when Brenda Walsh and Dylan McKay, both juniors in high school, decided to lose their virginity together at the Spring Dance. The show’s willingness to tackle a taboo even led critics to call it hard-hitting and controversial, descriptions that will draw looks askance from most modern-day viewers. For all the bravado of their first time, Brenda and Dylan didn’t maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Just one episode later, Brenda regrets going all the way (for unexplained reasons), then has a pregnancy scare, then breaks up with mega-fox Dylan. Three cautionary tales in one!
Still, Bev-H0 gets points for doing it first.

B

For all its intelligence and soulful characters, Dawson’s Creek didn’t exactly revolutionize teen sex on TV. It was sex that sparked the demise of both major loves stories (at least in the high school years), if in very different ways. After Dawson Leery spent half a season pining for Jen Lindley, they finally started dating. When an old boyfriend of Jen's came to visit,  Dawson decided Jen was too promiscuous. He would regret his judgment later and ask Jen to come back, but Jen stood up for herself and turned him down.

As for Joey Potter and Pacey Witter (the show’s fan-favorite couple) their relationship problems ensued the morning after they had sex, and culminated in a tragic prom break-up that would go unredeemed for the remaining 3 seasons. Sex: It's complicated.

A+

Sex doesn’t get much more tragic than your partner losing his soul and trying to murder all your friends, which is exactly what happened to Buffy Summers when she bedded her BF, Angel on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. But Joss Whedon’s over-the-top treatment of a break-up gave us a surprisingly relatable look at the emotional risks of intimacy, rather than the usual scary story about social consequences. You might even say Buffy satirized the way teen sex was normally portrayed on teen television.
Extra credit for top-notch dialog!

F

Marissa and Ryan only did it once or twice in their seasons-long relationship on The O.C. because they were too busy having misunderstandings, breaking up, getting back together, and having misunderstandings. The question of whether they would have sex became more important than the sex itself. In a way it was the ultimate teen drama relationship: All attraction and no pleasure.
Minus points for going on way too long.

A

To The O.C.’s credit, Summer Roberts and Seth Cohen were one of the first teen couples to have sex and a functioning relationship. Sure, their first time was a little awkward due to misunderstandings about who was a virgin, but they managed to work through it over the course of one episode. Seth and Summer maintained an ultimately loving relationship throughout the series (despite a few requisite separations along the way), without sex functioning as a the be-all and (more importantly) end-all.
Plus 10% for being two of my favorite characters ever!

B+

One Tree Hill is easily the most sensationalistic show of its kind, but it has a damn healthy outlook on sex. Take Lucas and Brooke, the series’ predominant (unmarried) couple, at least in the high school years. They had their share of break-ups and make-ups, two of which involved pregnancy scares. But when they were together they enjoyed fun, loving sex…and plenty of it. Make-up credit for Brooke being super confident and assertive.

A-

Veronica Mars portrayed its fair share of sexual violence, teen pregnancy, and emotional trauma, but it dealt with those issues in a very feminist way. Bad stuff didn't happen as the result of sex, it happened as the result of a fucked up society. Even as the title character tracked down her rapist she was able to engage in healthy sexual relationships, the most prominent (and hottest) of which was with Logan Echols. Minor point penalty for Logan and Veronica breaking up too many times.

C+

The O.C. writers returned to bless us with Gossip Girl, a gorgeous show that makes up in style what it lacks in plot development. Serena Van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey are the new Ryan and Marissa, complete with copious break-ups and limited sex.

And then there’s Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass, the excessively complicated couple who can never decide whether to ef each other over or just ef. It would be easy to lump them in with all the other teen couples for whom drama is the epitome of love, except that Blair and Chuck’s romance is so much more sensual than the usual teen fare. Gossip Girl has taken will-they-or-won’t-they to they-already-have-and-now-it’s-a-question-of-who-will-win-the-epic-power-struggle-surrounding-sex. (Either-way-it’s-going-to-be-hot.) It may not be the healthiest portrayal of sex on TV, but Gossip Girl gets points for making sex look sexy. And the fact that the girls want it just as much as the guys? Exceeds Expectations.

So there we have it. If you’d like to dispute a grade or offer up other shows for evaluation, comments will be taken under consideration.

[Original version posted on February 10, 2009 at bitchmagazine.org]

Bad Boys Too

There's been a lot of talk lately about fictional teen romances setting a bad example for young-lady viewers (thanks, Twilight). Whether the portrayal of a relationship can be deemed "good" for girls seems to rest on the morality of the boy involved. Sure, it'd be great if more teen females on TV would exert their girl power and be with super nice guys and join a band and play sports and have unbreakable friendships. But just cause that's a good example doesn't mean it's an entertaining one.

And, honestly, would that image reflect our experiences? Did we really refuse to get distracted by romance in favor of extracurricular activities? Were we sure to fall for fellow teens who would always treated us with maturity and respect? Or did we sometimes fall for someone bad? And is falling for a bad boy somehow anti-feminist?

No show examines teen morality like Gossip Girl. While the main female characters (Blair Waldorf, Serena Van der Woodsen, and Jenny Humphrey) tend to move freely between common decency and pure evil, their male characters are a little more fixed. Dan Humphrey is a bookish outsider on the Upper East Side struggling to navigate this wealth and privilege with his integrity intact. Nate Archibald is an upper-crust puppy dog whose Tiger Beat looks and sweet demeanor make him a worthy crush for any youngster...as long as they can overlook the blandness. And then there's the show's most popular guy, Chuck Bass:

Chuck was introduced in the first episode as the show's villain when he attempted to a date rape 15-year-old Lil' J. The writers immediately buried Chuck's old habit of sexual assault and replaced it with strictly consensual promiscuity. Now he's a sex symbol who's as well known for his daring fashion choices as he is for his villainy. He's also part of the show's most compelling love story: the never-quite-a-relationship between him and Blair (one of the most compelling female characters on TV right now, BTW). This dark pair bonded over social manipulation and sinister plots, but their inability to trust other people ultimately prevents them from finding happiness.

Gossip Girl may romanticize the fact that Chuck sleeps around, but it's his tragic love affair with Blair that makes the girls swoon. (And honestly, I don't want to live in a world where teenagers aren't moved by tragic loves stories.) Blair's aware of Chuck's libertine sexuality, but that doesn't hurt her as much as his selfishness and emotional isolation. "Only a masochist could love such a narcissist!" she despairs.

And this brings up my question: Does loving a bad boy really mean a girl is messed up? Before you think on all the lost little Twilight fans and answer with a horrified "Yes!" please remember the crushable bad boys of pop culture past:

 

Obviously there's a lot one could say about the sexism expressed by of each of these characters. Yet who among us hasn't crushed? And if we really believe women have as much sexual agency as men, then we can't assume that their fictional fantasies involuntarily corrupt them. If teenage girls are capable of being strong and independent, then they know what they're doing when it comes to the pop culture and their engagement with it..

Whether they're called womanizers or heartthrobs, bad boys can represent dangerous sexuality, social deviancy, and even rebellion, all of which seem like healthy pursuits for any young lady.

[Original version posted on December 10, 2008 at bitchmagazine.org]