Remember when Gabrielle Anwar was the ultimate ingénue? She played sweet but determined young-lady characters like nobody’s business, and everyone seemed to be in consensus that she was the prettiest girl in the world. (People magazine even made it official by including her in their 1993 list.) As a tween viewer in 1991, Anwar’s tomboy look and courageous horse-diving in Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken made me a lifelong fan. And then there was her seminal appearance as the burrito-loving ice-skater on Beverly Hills, 90210. (Apparently the 9-0 writers liked The Cutting Edge almost as much as I did.)
But after the famous tango scene in Scent of a Woman, Anwar’s career went B-list, and then C-list. And, as with so many other ultimate ingénues, no one seemed to notice. There must have been a new prettiest-girl-in-the-world that year. Maybe Neve Campbell?
So imagine my delight at seeing Anwar return to the small screen as Fiona Glenanne on Burn Notice. Fiona’s got more of an edge than Anwar’s earlier characters. She’s a morally ambiguous former IRA agent who dates the protagonist, but has a greater passion for shooting bad guys.
It’s always refreshing to watch a female character in an action show who matches the male protagonist in skills, smarts, and plain old bad-assery. It’s even more refreshing that Burn Notice casts age-appropriate actresses across the board. As a low-budget USA series about spies, it could easily have gotten away with having a 20-year-old woman play opposite a 30-something dude (hell, high-budget action movies do it almost every time). But Burn Notice eschews the cult of the ingénue in favor of more experienced actresses (who, for the record, are still crazy good looking). It’s a smart move -- Anwar’s gumption and gravitas have only increased with age, and she brings a lot more to Fiona than just a pretty face.
With a recurring role on The Tudors as well, you might say Anwar is getting better parts than she did in her first blush of fame. And that makes life seem a little more fair.
The Girls of Hedsor Hall isn’t that different from other behavioral competitions in reality tv-land. It features good-looking people with impulse-control issues trying to behave, but mostly acting crazy. And yes, they are competing for a cash prize. We’ve seen it before: 12 so-called bad girls enter, one reformed good girl leaves
(with $100,000).The difference lies in the setting. Rather than being instructed by celebrity psychologists or plain-old celebrities, the contestants are attending one of the most famous finishing schools in England. Headmistress Gill Harbord and Disciplinarian Rosemary Schrager lend an authenticity to Hedsor Hall that’s rare in the genre. (For
instance, their accents aren’t in question, unlike the heavily voiced-over Trina Dolenz on Tool Academy.) You just can’t fake English like this.
The girls are supposed to learn to be “ladies,” a role that’s very clearly defined in traditional English etiquette. It’s weirdly fascinating to see a feminine ideal so unabashedly embraced as something for young women to aspire to. And at the same time, Hedsor Hall’s definition of “lady-like” behavior is much more inclusive than one might expect. Okay, we have the predictable posture exercises, painting lessons, and
flower arranging classes. And then there’s falconry, hunting, and
pheasant stuffing! Hedsor Hall promotes a brand of femininity
that isn’t just about being dainty and delicate, even if it is limited
to outdated pass-times of the English upper class. (I think we’re all
ready hoping for falconry to make a popular comeback, though. Am I wrong ?)
The school crest stands for “everything that defines a true lady,” explains Former misbehaving Miss USA/visiting instructor Tara Connor, “Dignity, Discipline, and Grace.” The Hall rules are just as predictable: No swearing, no excess drinking, no men in the rooms, no fighting. Contestants have also learned some of the unspoken rules the hard way. No refusing to get out of bed, for example. No smirking. And absolutely no talking about sex work!
Not surprisingly, a handful of the girls strip or make porn for a living, and the Headmistresses are “disgusted” whenever it comes up. One contestant, Brianna, almost got expelled for discussing her adult website when someone at a donor luncheon asked about her career. I hesitate to place any of the Hedsor Hall contestants in a “Support Sex Workers!” discussion (I’m sure most real-life sex workers would rather not be associated with these people), but it does raise some hackles to see sex work being so roundly dissed. Harbord and Schrager seem to believe that being a sex worker has nothing to do with socio-economic situations and everything to do with bad manners. It’s a bit closed-minded, to say the least.
But to be honest, I’m charmed by the idea of etiquette having the power to thwart sex work. Harbord and Schrager emphasize self-respect over and over again as the most important part of being a lady. Since Brianna has admitted that she believes her body is her most positive attribute, I really want to see Hedsor Hall prove her wrong. Maybe impeccable manners will become her best asset, or, better yet, falconry. Or maybe the girls will simply gain the skills to have more confidence in classrooms and job interviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s just another MTV reality show, but I’m totally sold. Blame it on the British.
TV culture is obsessed with the idea of adolescent fornication, but not really in a “sex is sexy!” kind of way. More like in a fearful, moralizing, “sex is dangerous!” kind of way. The Secret Life of the American Teen, for example, follows an ensemble of teenagers (the most prominent of whom is a pregnant 15-year-old) as they sleep with each other, suffer the negative consequences, and then exchange incredibly dull, explanatory dialog about what they've learned.
Even racier teen dramas tend to focus on the dire emotional consequences that inevitably follow virginity loss. It almost always ends in shame, regret, and/or a break-up. Viewers are getting an eyeful of cautionary tales telling them sex is bad...and the vast majority of them are teenage girls.
I get that teen dramas need drama, and there’s nothing like a pregnancy scare or virginity freak-out to move a plot. But real teen couples (like adult couples) are capable of sleeping together and remaining in love, un-pregnant, and disease-free. Do we see that on TV? Well, sometimes. Here’s a little report card grading how well teen dramas have handled teen sex on screen.
C
In retrospect, Beverly Hills, 90210’s scandalous rep belies a rather chaste TV culture. It was a really big deal when Brenda Walsh and Dylan McKay, both juniors in high school, decided to lose their virginity together at the Spring Dance. The show’s willingness to tackle a taboo even led critics to call it hard-hitting and controversial, descriptions that will draw looks askance from most modern-day viewers. For all the bravado of their first time, Brenda and Dylan didn’t maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Just one episode later, Brenda regrets going all the way (for unexplained reasons), then has a pregnancy scare, then breaks up with mega-fox Dylan. Three cautionary tales in one! Still, Bev-H0 gets points for doing it first.
B
For all its intelligence and soulful characters, Dawson’s Creek didn’t exactly revolutionize teen sex on TV. It was sex that sparked the demise of both major loves stories (at least in the high school years), if in very different ways. After Dawson Leery spent half a season pining for Jen Lindley, they finally started dating. When an old boyfriend of Jen's came to visit, Dawson decided Jen was too promiscuous. He would regret his judgment later and ask Jen to come back, but Jen stood up for herself and turned him down.
As for Joey Potter and Pacey Witter (the show’s fan-favorite couple) their relationship problems ensued the morning after they had sex, and culminated in a tragic prom break-up that would go unredeemed for the remaining 3 seasons. Sex: It's complicated.
A+
Sex doesn’t get much more tragic than your partner losing his soul and trying to murder all your friends, which is exactly what happened to Buffy Summers when she bedded her BF, Angel on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. But Joss Whedon’s over-the-top treatment of a break-up gave us a surprisingly relatable look at the emotional risks of intimacy, rather than the usual scary story about social consequences. You might even say Buffy satirized the way teen sex was normally portrayed on teen television. Extra credit for top-notch dialog!
F
Marissa and Ryan only did it once or twice in their seasons-long relationship on The O.C. because they were too busy having misunderstandings, breaking up, getting back together, and having misunderstandings. The question of whether they would have sex became more important than the sex itself. In a way it was the ultimate teen drama relationship: All attraction and no pleasure. Minus points for going on way too long.
A
To The O.C.’s credit, Summer Roberts and Seth Cohen were one of the first teen couples to have sex and a functioning relationship. Sure, their first time was a little awkward due to misunderstandings about who was a virgin, but they managed to work through it over the course of one episode. Seth and Summer maintained an ultimately loving relationship throughout the series (despite a few requisite separations along the way), without sex functioning as a the be-all and (more importantly) end-all. Plus 10% for being two of my favorite characters ever!
B+
One Tree Hill is easily the most sensationalistic show of its kind, but it has a damn healthy outlook on sex. Take Lucas and Brooke, the series’ predominant (unmarried) couple, at least in the high school years. They had their share of break-ups and make-ups, two of which involved pregnancy scares. But when they were together they enjoyed fun, loving sex…and plenty of it. Make-up credit for Brooke being super confident and assertive.
A-
Veronica Mars portrayed its fair share of sexual violence, teen pregnancy, and emotional trauma, but it dealt with those issues in a very feminist way. Bad stuff didn't happen as the result of sex, it happened as the result of a fucked up society. Even as the title character tracked down her rapist she was able to engage in healthy sexual relationships, the most prominent (and hottest) of which was with Logan Echols. Minor point penalty for Logan and Veronica breaking up too many times.
C+
The O.C. writers returned to bless us with Gossip Girl, a gorgeous show that makes up in style what it lacks in plot development. Serena Van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey are the new Ryan and Marissa, complete with copious break-ups and limited sex.
And then there’s Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass, the excessively complicated couple who can never decide whether to ef each other over or just ef. It would be easy to lump them in with all the other teen couples for whom drama is the epitome of love, except that Blair and Chuck’s romance is so much more sensual than the usual teen fare. Gossip Girl has taken will-they-or-won’t-they to they-already-have-and-now-it’s-a-question-of-who-will-win-the-epic-power-struggle-surrounding-sex. (Either-way-it’s-going-to-be-hot.) It may not be the healthiest portrayal of sex on TV, but Gossip Girl gets points for making sex look sexy. And the fact that the girls want it just as much as the guys? Exceeds Expectations.
So there we have it. If you’d like to dispute a grade or offer up other shows for evaluation, comments will be taken under consideration.
“Terrible boyfriend? We can fix him. Complete tools transformed into knights in shining armor.” These are the promises of the opening credits of Tool Academy, VH1’s latest trash-tastic series in which women drag their truly terrible boyfriends through a relationship boot camp in hopes of turning them into nice guys. The tools agreed to come on the show thinking it was called Mr. Awesome, a competition to determine “the biggest Alpha male in America.” After they learned the show’s real premise, they all stayed on in hopes of proving themselves to their girlfriends...and winning $100,000 for being the best boyfriend.
If you’re wondering what makes a tool a tool, it appears to be a combination of made-up names (Celebrity, M.E.G.A., Matsuflex, etc.), excessive hair gel, and behavior that’s just…well, look if you dare:
I have to admit there’s a lot of satisfaction in watching uber-bros get the kind of corrective treatment that’s usually reserved for women. Shows like Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, Rock of Love Girls: Charm School, Bad Girls Club, and (arguably) America’s Next Top Model focus on improving contestants’ speech, mannerisms, and social skills to fit a feminine ideal. It’s nice to see men undergoing a similar transformation. It’s even nicer that their ultimate goal is learning to treat women as equals.
Of course, part of the fun of Tool Academy lies in watching the tools reach previously undocumented heights of douchery. But the way the tools treat their girlfriends isn't entertaining. It’s often shocking.
A portion of the show takes place in group therapy where the tools talk it out with couples therapist Trina Dolenz. (It’s like a bizarre combination of Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Dr. Phil.) Dolenz encourages the men to express their true feelings, and reminds the women that they’ve “come here to help him change” when they lose patience. Partial responsibility for the tools’ behavior is placed on their girlfriends, who are expected to simultaneously keep their men in line and love them unconditionally...at least as long as they’re in the program.
But since the competition is about showing growth, the tools can usually get by with half-assed apologies and promises to try harder. The least sincere guy gets “expelled”, but even after elimination 2 out of 3 of the girls have chosen to stand by their tools. In fact, the couple in the clip above just announced their engagement!
It is NOT fun to be watching what you think is a guilty pleasure about tools getting schooled only to be confronted by a surprisingly intimate look at emotional abuse. However, there’s a rare value in common-denominator entertainment that has us all devastated when a woman stays with a man that doesn’t appreciate her. Since nobody wants to be a fool for tools, could Tool Academy actually inspire some female viewers to rethink their own relationships with men? I’m willing to bet that they will...and that VH1 will have no trouble finding contestants for Season 2.
In the history of family sitcoms, has there ever been a woman so intelligent, so poised, and so willing to deliver impassioned monologues about gender equality as Clair Huxtable? As a kid watching The Cosby Show -- the only primetime program my parents permitted back in the ‘80s -- I was completely in awe of her. As an adult who’s watched many, many hours of TV since (I do what I want!), I’m more impressed than ever.
Even in reruns, Clair plays like a modern woman. She has a full-time career that’s never presented as being at odds with her family life. (In fact, being a lawyer actually helps her be a better mom! Remember when she put Theo on trial in the living room? Classic.) She openly discusses gender issues with her kids. She’s never afraid to assert herself, and she never loses her composure when she does. 20 years after The Cosby Show’s peak, Clair is still more progressive than most of the TV moms who’ve succeeded her.
The Cosby Show has been criticized for ignoring issues of racism in it’s portrayal of a very successful Black family, but Phylicia Rashad’s performance as Clair is, in my opinion, beyond reproach. She brought a new perspective to the “strong Black woman” archetype that had been a staple of Black sitcoms of the ‘70s. Her multi-faceted interpretation of the role showed that women of color were just as capable of being educated and successful as they were of being feisty and outspoken.
From 1986–1990, The Cosby Show ranked #1 in the Nielson Ratings. No show with a Black cast has come anywhere close to that kind of popularity since. In fact, are there any predominantly Black shows on network TV right now, or have they all been relegated to BET?
Clair Huxtable may have been a trail-blazing character, but very few have followed in her footsteps, and none have met with the same success.... Or have they? Please tell me I’m wrong! In the meantime I remain in awe of Clair, my crush nonpareil.
There’s a lot to love about Tina Fey’s sexy-geek image. For instance, “Geeks can be sexy!” is an awesome message, as is “Sexy women can be geeks!” (Okay, maybe there are only two things to love.) I think it’s safe to say we get it: She’s hot. She’s smart. She’s hot, yet smart. And vice-versa.
But Fey’s sex appeal is no accident — it’s the price she paid for fame. In January’s Vanity Fair feature, Maureen Dowd gushes about “how a tweezer, cream rinse, a diet, and a Teutonic will transformed a mousy brain into a brainy glamour-puss.” Dowd thrills at the success of the makeover that made Fey fit for the camera, and her enthusiasm for weight loss and designer clothes is unsettling. No one wants to picture Liz Lemon doing Weight Watchers...
Fey’s usually portrayed as an idiosyncratic sex symbol (retro poses and vintage leotards , oh my!), but her hotness is hardly happenstance. Our beloved Lemon simply wouldn’t exist if Fey didn’t work to maintain her girlish figure. As Fey put it, “I like to look goofy, but I also don’t want to get cancelled because of my big old butt.”
I had always puzzled when, on 30 Rock, Fey’s Liz Lemon alter ego obsessed about junk food or just gleefully shoved it into her mouth. I told myself that Fey was probably just one of those people who ate and ate and never gained a pound, but it was wishful thinking. Fey’s love of junk food is for real but she doesn’t get to enjoy it like she used to. When she was writing for SNL she was 5’4” and weighed 150 pounds. She went to Weight Watchers and slimmed down significantly to be an anchor on "Weekend Update" (the second female anchor since Jane Curtin left the show in 1980). Now Fey stays thin in order to play a woman who eats and eats.
For the record, I admire Tina Fey, and her portrayal of Liz Lemon totally lights up my Thursday night. I wouldn’t want Lemon to stop eating just so her lifestyle matched her figure, and I wouldn’t want Fey to be less than sensationally successful. It’s just sad that a woman with Fey’s talent isn’t allowed to be on TV unless she’s conforming to a very specific standard of size. And it’s sad that Liz Lemon can say she loves food but can’t look like she loves food.
So yeah, geeks can be sexy. And if they’re geeky women on TV, they have to be sexy. And no woman on TV can be sexy without being unrealistically thin. Sigh, I need a cookie.
If you have a tendency to get sucked into bad movies starring formerly famous actresses, you've probably watched some Fa la la la Lifetime, a month-long event in which Lifetime Television brings out its considerable collection of Christmas movies. Whether they're are about Christmas dating, Christmas engagements, or Christmas weddings, the movies tend to have a few things in common: sassy friends with Canadian accents, insipid male love interests, excessive seasonal decorations, embarrassing covers of Christmas carols, and unconvincing dye jobs. I watched enough this year to discover a sub-genre of the Lifetime move that’s even more unsettling than your average cute-heroine-finds-Christmas-love story. I call it the Second-Chance Fantasy.
It consists of women questioning their life choices, and then (via Christmas miracle) experiencing the alternative. But of course, there are only two choices: Lonely career woman or stay-at-home mom. Can you guess which option always turns out to be the best? Just in case you’re coming down from a candy cane high and can’t focus too well, I’ll break it down for you:
Holiday Switch, 2007
Nicole Eggert (formerly of Charles in Charge and Baywatch) plays Paula, a stay-at-home mom who’s married to the nicest guy ever. She’s sad because they’re poor. When she runs into a fabulously wealthy high school boyfriend, she wonders what life would have been like had she married the rich guy. Then she bumps her head and climbs through a magical dryer into the life she could have had. The next half hour is her squealing and exclaiming to herself about her new mansion, which is filled with clothes and shoes and bubble baths (what else?). But then she gets sad about not having kids anymore. She realizes that family is more important than shoes, and gets magically transported back to her old life, which she is now satisfied with.
Eve’s Christmas, 2004
Elisa Donovan (Amber from Clueless and Clueless) is a successful ad exec who’s having an affair with her married boss. She wishes on a Christmas star to go back in time 8 years to right before she broke off an engagement to her high school boyfriend. It works! And amid all the hilarious jokes about “pilates” and “internet shopping” (no one had EVER heard of those things in 1996, get it?) she manages to stay with her unbelievably bland fiancé long enough get married…on Christmas Eve, of course. When she wakes up she finds out that 8 years has passed, she's still married, and she's now successfully running her husband's family business. No more single holidays or sleeping with the boss for that feisty redhead! Thanks, Christmas Star.
Comfort and Joy, 2003
Nancy McKeon (Jo from The Facts of Life!) plays Jane, a Marketing VP who’s bummed about not having a family. When she bumps her head in a car accident, she gets rescued by—get ready—her husband. He says they’ve been married for ten years and they have two kids together. She’s a stay-at-home mom in this reality, but of course she keeps insisting that she’s a successful career woman. She even calls her boss, but he doesn’t remember her because she quit as soon as she got married! Rather than take her to the hospital, her husband decides to proceed with Christmas as planned. The next 90 minutes consists entirely of Jane saying she doesn’t remember things (“But I don’t remember buying that gift!” “But how could you know that my toothbrush is purple?!”) After all that stimulating conversation, she kisses her husband and returns to the moment of the crash when they meet for the first time. Who knew head injuries could be so romantic?
Whereas your average Lifetime Christmas movie enforces the marriage-is-the-be-all-end-all idea by ending every movie with a wedding (or at least a proposal), these bizarre cautionary tales take it a step further by showing how terrible life is for successful single women without kids and insisting that they’d choose marriage and motherhood if they really thought about it. But I have to wonder if any career gals are actually getting cautioned by these tales, which air on weekday afternoons. I suspect that, in fact, desolate career women don’t get to enjoy these movies because their sad, unfulfilling careers require them to, you know, be at work. So that leaves the women who chose correctly and are now living the Lifetime dream of stay-at-home motherhood. You know, if I was taking care of infants and/or toddlers on two hours of sleep all day long, I’d probably take comfort in a movie that portrayed the single working life as depressing and unfulfilling too. If there is a purpose behind the Second Chance Fantasy, it's probably about reassuring the viewer base that they've made the right choice, rather than chastising women who made a different choice and aren't watching anyway.
I think the strangest thing about the Second Chance Fantasy is that it so rigidly divides work from family. Why did Jane quit her high-powered job when she got married, never to return? Why was Eve’s only option as a career woman to sleep with married men at her office? Why was Paula's financial success completely predicated on her husband earning money, rather than her pursuing a career?
Of course, we all know that these divisions don’t exist in real life. Most wives and mothers enjoy fulfilling professional lives, and most unmarried women enjoy fulfilling personal lives. There may be a lot of variations in women’s lifestyles, but there’s also a lot of overlap in our experiences. We’re not on opposite sides of the fence. In fact, there isn’t a fence.
But it’s the Holidays and I'm about to take off until the new year, so I'd like to conclude on a positive note and give Lifetime credit for one movie that unexpectedly warmed my heart:
If You Believe, 1999
Ally Walker (of Universal Soldier and Profiler) plays Susan, a book editor whose recent divorce has left her depressed, exhausted, and rude. She hates Christmas, she’s alienating her family, and she’s sleepwalking through her career. She’s visited by her 7-year-old self (played by Hayden Panetierre of Heroes), who encourages her to get back in touch with the things that make her happy. Kid Susan drags grown-up Susan to the opera, makes her get a Christmas tree, and, most important, invigorates her love of books. Susan rediscovers her passion for editing and the movie ends with her being more successful and satisfied by her career than ever. Okay, so there’s a romance in there too. But the real love story is about a woman and her job, which is some pretty feminist fare for Fa la la la Lifetime.
I’ve been conflicted about The Girls Next Door ever since it debuted in 2005. On the one hand, I tend to think it's sad that Holly Madison, Bridget Marquadt, and Kendra Wilkinson would want to be kept women for a doddering Hugh Heffner. If they’re really into the whole rich, sexy, polyamorous lifestyle, why don’t they want a guy who’s at least marginally attractive? But on the other hand, I don't want to undermine women’s autonomy by applying my own values to their choices. Even if it bums me out to see someone buy into the whole gals-should-be-hot-and-guys-should-be-rich farce that has come to define the Playboy empire, I (reluctantly) have to admit that it’s their prerogative.
Kendra HollyBridget
And E! wants us to know just how smart these bunnies are. Each of their bios at E! Online includes a “Beauty & Brains” section. Holly, for example, is studying at UCLA. (She’s also a Junior Editor at Playboy). Bridget’s got a Masters degree and she’s working toward another one. Kendra wants to be a sports announcer or a sports masseuse (although I suspect she has yet to pursue an education in either of these fields).
But if we're supposed to give the Girls credit for intelligence, autonomy, or just plain-old professionalism, then what's with the show's producers constantly undermining them? Post-production sound effects and editing portray these women of “beauty and brains” as silly, vapid, and even ridiculous.
In last week's episode. "Catcher in the Raw", Kendra organized a playmate softball game because “There’s nothing like seeing sexy girls get down and dirty." She picked out uniforms at American Apparel, scoured the Playboy encyclopedias for athletic-looking models to invite, and even took Holly to the batting cages to practice. “I do not consider myself an athletic person,” said Holly, “But that doesn’t stop me from going out there and trying to bust some ass!” (Confession: Holly Madison seems really nice and I kind of want to hang out with her.)
Once the bunnies were assembled for the big game, it became clear that Kendra was the only one with any softball experience. Many of the women had never played before, and some weren’t even familiar with the rules. Not surprisingly, once the game started there was gratuitous posing and ass-wiggling for the crowd. But the bunnies still made an admirable effort. They played hard, they were good sports, and they even seemed to improve by the last inning. Too bad the producers chose to portray their efforts as nothing more than laughable slapstick.
Is it admirable when a woman tries a new sport, even if it means there's a learning curve? Nope, slide whistle! What about when Bridget searches for the word "dugout" for half a second? Ditz cam! The difference between the playmates acting sexy for the crowd and being ridiculed by the camera is stark. It’s the difference between choice and objectification.
I actually tensed up when the butlers came out in pink cheerleader outfits because I was worried they were going to do some kind of horrifying playmate impression, but they only seemed to be making fun of themselves for the playmates’ amusement. In fact, I got the feeling that the softball game was more about women having fun than looking hot. (Even if Kendra did give out an award for the best tits. Sigh.) As Bridget said, “Softball was such a great bonding experience. We had such a great time.”
After this season wrapped, Holly and Kendra chose to move on to new men, and to move out of the mansion. They've been replaced by twins. I have to wonder if E!'s emphasis on the Girls' intelligence will become even more superficial in Season 6, now that the women we got to know are going the way of so many of Heffner's girlfriends before them. As for the twins: I predict kazoos in their future.
There's been a lot of talk lately about fictional teen romances setting a bad example for young-lady viewers (thanks, Twilight). Whether the portrayal of a relationship can be deemed "good" for girls seems to rest on the morality of the boy involved. Sure, it'd be great if more teen females on TV would exert their girl power and be with super nice guys and join a band and play sports and have unbreakable friendships. But just cause that's a good example doesn't mean it's an entertaining one.
And, honestly, would that image reflect our experiences? Did we really refuse to get distracted by romance in favor of extracurricular activities? Were we sure to fall for fellow teens who would always treated us with maturity and respect? Or did we sometimes fall for someone bad? And is falling for a bad boy somehow anti-feminist?
No show examines teen morality like Gossip Girl. While the main female characters (Blair Waldorf, Serena Van der Woodsen, and Jenny Humphrey) tend to move freely between common decency and pure evil, their male characters are a little more fixed. Dan Humphrey is a bookish outsider on the Upper East Side struggling to navigate this wealth and privilege with his integrity intact. Nate Archibald is an upper-crust puppy dog whose Tiger Beat looks and sweet demeanor make him a worthy crush for any youngster...as long as they can overlook the blandness. And then there's the show's most popular guy, Chuck Bass:
Chuck was introduced in the first episode as the show's villain when he attempted to a date rape 15-year-old Lil' J. The writers immediately buried Chuck's old habit of sexual assault and replaced it with strictly consensual promiscuity. Now he's a sex symbol who's as well known for his daring fashion choices as he is for his villainy. He's also part of the show's most compelling love story: the never-quite-a-relationship between him and Blair (one of the most compelling female characters on TV right now, BTW). This dark pair bonded over social manipulation and sinister plots, but their inability to trust other people ultimately prevents them from finding happiness.
Gossip Girl may romanticize the fact that Chuck sleeps around, but it's his tragic love affair with Blair that makes the girls swoon. (And honestly, I don't want to live in a world where teenagers aren't moved by tragic loves stories.) Blair's aware of Chuck's libertine sexuality, but that doesn't hurt her as much as his selfishness and emotional isolation. "Only a masochist could love such a narcissist!" she despairs.
And this brings up my question: Does loving a bad boy really mean a girl is messed up? Before you think on all the lost little Twilight fans and answer with a horrified "Yes!" please remember the crushable bad boys of pop culture past:
Obviously there's a lot one could say about the sexism expressed by of each of these characters. Yet who among us hasn't crushed? And if we really believe women have as much sexual agency as men, then we can't assume that their fictional fantasies involuntarily corrupt them. If teenage girls are capable of being strong and independent, then they know what they're doing when it comes to the pop culture and their engagement with it..
Whether they're called womanizers or heartthrobs, bad boys can represent dangerous sexuality, social deviancy, and even rebellion, all of which seem like healthy pursuits for any young lady.
These days, Kristin Wiig's practically the star of Saturday Night Live, Amy Poehler's departure is still bemoaned in every "Weekend Update", and all the world's in love with Tina Fey. SNL seems to be getting a reputation as a wonderful vehicle for women in comedy. But, as you may have noticed, female cast members have historically had a lot harder time launching post-SNL careers than their male counterparts.
I could go over statistics about movie deals and the imbalanced releases of "Best of" compilations, but in the end it would come down to a comparison of individual cast members in terms of talent and success, and that's not what I want to focus on. What I want to do is recall the work of stand-out comediennes and take a glance at what they're doing now. Were they just as talented as the men on the show, if not more so? In most cases, yes. Are they getting the recognition they deserve? Hardly ever.
These ladies meet the following criteria: 1. Appeared on SNL in the last 20 years. (Sorry original "Not Ready for Prime Time Players" and the unfortunate women of the early 80s.) 2. Had more than one season as a featured player. 3. Left the show before this year. 4. Aren't Tina Fey (I mean, she's amazing but enough's been said, right?)
Let's begin:
THE FRESHMAKERS After a catastrophic season (and half-decade if we're being honest) Lorne Michaels returned to SNL and replaced most of the cast. The new cast would build momentum and lead the show into its second golden age.
Nora Dunn 1985–1990 Memorable skits: The Sweeney Sisters, The Pat Stevens Show, and Ashley Ashley.
Known for: Boycotting a 1990 episode in which Andrew Dice Clay would be the host because she objected to his misogynistic humor. She didn't return for the following season.
Now seen in: "Hey, it's that lady!" guest roles on TV, with film appearances here and there.
Jan Hooks 1986–1991 Memorable impressions: Kathy Lee Gifford, Tammy Faye Baker, and three first ladies (Betty Ford, Nancy Reagan, and Hillary Clinton). She had a knack for exposing the neurotic side of her straight-laced targets.
Known for: Having extreme stage fright and sticking with one of the most stressful live shows on television anyway.
Now seen in: Designing Women reruns.
Victoria Jackson 1986–1991 Memorable roles: Dumb people, people with blonde hair, dumb people with blonde hair...you get the picture.
Known for: Reciting poetry while doing gymnastics; dating Weird Al Yankovich.
Now seen in: Larry the Cable Guy's Star-Studded Christmas Extravaganza.
THE SECOND GOLDEN AGE The early nineties saw an explosion in popularity for SNL that's usually attributed to its male comedians. In fact, there were only two featured female cast members for more than one season during this time.
Julia Sweeney 1990–1994 Memorable roles: Chelsea Clinton, Pat, and Whorenun of Sprockets.
Known for: Getting her geek on.
Now seen in: Autobiographical monologues at indie film festivals, the most recent being Letting Go of God.
Ellen Cleghorne 1991–1995 Memorable roles: Queen Shenequa. Beyond that, the show failed to put her to good use and mostly cast her as "black woman".
Known for: Having an eponymous and exclamatory sitcom on the WB called Cleghorne! for 12 episodes.
Now seen in: Bit parts like "Lady #1", and "Trustee." Sometimes she's not even credited!
THE "FEMALE POWER TRIO" (or "Three Popular Comediennes on Saturday Night Live at the Same Time, Gasp!") These three made a splash in the late nineties (following another purge of the cast) for all being women, all being funny, and all being on the show at the same time.
Molly Shannon 1995–2001 Memorable characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher, Sally O' Mally, and Helen Madden, Joyologist.
Known for: Physical comedy; being one of only 3 female cast members in SNL history to have her own "Best of" collection.
Now seen in: Quality films (for the most part) and NBC's big but unpopular sitcom Kath and Kim.
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Cheri Oteri 1995–2000 Memorable skits: The Spartan Cheerleaders, Mickey "The Dyke", Morning Latte
Known for: An ability to be simultaneously raunchy and adorable; having a "Best of" collection. (The third "Best of" woman is Gilda Radner.)
Now seen in: Guest roles in B movies.
Ana Gasteyer 1996–2002 Memorable roles: Cinder Calhoun, Celine Dion, and Bobbie Mohan-Culp the high school music teacher.
Known for: Making music funny.
Now seen in: Stage productions of musicals in Chicago.
THE TASTEMAKERS Once Tina Fey and Amy Poehler joined the show in 2000 and 2001 (respectively), female comediennes finally became less of a novelty and more of a staple. In fact, for the past 8 years the show has relied on lady talent for some of its biggest laughs.
Rachel Dratch 1999–2007 Memorable roles: Debbie Downer, Zazu McDonough, Harry Potter
Known for: Milking her looks for all they're worth.
Now seen in: Some pretty crappy fare as far as I can tell from IMDb. However, her work in Season 1 of 30 Rock is awesome enough to carry her over for at least another year.
Now seen in: An untitled Sam Mendes project, according to IMDb. Is that really all?
Having been in love with SNL since age 10 I can say that I've followed most of these women's stints on the show pretty closely, rooting for them to get bigger, better parts and more airtime. You can imagine my tween, teen, and 20-something disappointment when SNL proved to center around the dudes over and over again. Now that things really do seem to be changing (thanks again, Tina Fey), I'll pin my unfulfilled hopes on a revival of SNL's ladies of yesteryear, and hope they'll be appreciated now, if not in their own time. I'll also keep my fingers crossed that someone like Kristin Wiig has the bright future she deserves, unlike so many women before her.
: Gabrielle Anwar 
The Girls of Hedsor Hall isn’t that different from other behavioral competitions in reality tv-land. It features good-looking people with impulse-control issues trying to behave, but mostly acting crazy. And yes, they are competing for a cash prize. We’ve seen it before: 12 so-called bad girls enter, one reformed good girl 
In the history of family sitcoms, has there ever been a woman so intelligent, so poised, and so willing to deliver 
From 1986–1990, The Cosby Show ranked #1 in the Nielson Ratings. No show with a Black cast has come anywhere close to that kind of popularity since. In fact, are there any predominantly Black shows on network TV right now, or have they all been relegated to BET? 
There’s a lot to love about Tina Fey’s sexy-geek image. For instance, “Geeks can be sexy!” is an awesome message, as is “Sexy women can be geeks!” (Okay, maybe there are only two things to love.) I think it’s safe to say we get it: She’s hot. She’s smart. She’s hot, yet smart. And vice-versa.
Nora Dunn 1985–1990
Jan Hooks 1986–1991
Victoria Jackson 1986–1991
Julia Sweeney 1990–1994
Molly Shannon 1995–2001
Cheri Oteri 1995–2000
Ana Gasteyer 1996–2002
Rachel Dratch 1999–2007
Maya Rudolph 1999–2007
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